Woman Crush Wednesday


WCW pic

You know what today is, Woman Crush Wednesday! For those of you who do not know what this current hip trend is all about, let me enlighten you. Here is a brief and simple description by International Business Times

“WCW stands for “Woman Crush Wednesday,” which is when social media users share pictures of ladies that they find attractive or admire. Both male and female Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr users participate in the weekly trend, which is always seen on a Wednesday. It’s like a mini social media holiday where everyone participates in sharing a picture of their favorite female or “girl crush.” It could be a famous celebrity like Jennifer Lawrence, or even someone’s love interest.

The female species is not exempt from this popular trend, but you can participate in #MCM, Man Crush Monday (blog). #WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday), a national phenomenon that has turned into a pop-trend within American culture; and among many Jesus’ followers. It’s amazing to see how huge this trend is catching on within the Christian world. I want to make a disclaimer to my readers. In no way am I connecting this current trend to being a salvation issue or condemning those that do participate. In fact, if you have a significant other, by all means post a picture and show how God has blessed you! Furthermore, let me add a deeper disclaimer. Christians posting “crush” pictures of non-Christians (celebrities and such) may seem insignificant, but Eve (#MCM), so was the Forbidden Fruit in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3) Posting pictures of your significant other is great, but Adam (#WCW), do not create Idols that will have you hiding from the Creator and your purpose.

Destroy Idols 

When a noun (person, place, thing) takes the place of God, that’s the moment we find ourselves in anomaly. Unhealthy Relationships and/or “crushes” create an abnormal behavior of obsession. The scriptures are clear how God feels about idols. I like to refer to them as functional saviors that take the place of the One true Savior. God instructed His people with Ten Commandments and the first command is the following:

“You must not have any other god but me.” (Exodus 20:3 NLT) 

It’s very clear that God desires us to love and serve Him and no one else. But the scriptures go further by saying:

 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.” (Exodus 20:4-5 NLT) 

God is a jealous God and He will not tolerate our affection for any other gods. I love how the New Living Translation states the word “tolerate.” Whether it be a person, place and/or thing, God will not stomach your idol worship.

The primitive root meaning of “image” in hebrew “pacal” means to carve, whether wood or stone. But let’s be real, most “images” we find today can be viewed on social media. What you give yourself to, becomes your ultimate surrender. What you treasure becomes your life’s measure. You become obsessed with an individual and the notion of Love. Romance and True Love, are two separate ideas. Woman Crush Wednesday provides an ideal fantasy of romance, but True Love can only be defined by the core of where Love originated. When we idolize pop-culture romance, we commit idolatry against True Love. We Love because He first Loved us (1 John 4:19). Idolizing romance and fantasy is a strong offense against the gospel.

The book of Romans describes an Idolatrous generation, similar to our current culture. “… they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.” (Romans 1:23 NLT) The moment you create a functional savior, that’s the moment God will strip everything away, until you say, “have your way.” Trust me, save yourself before it’s to late. Unhealthy Relationships and fantasy crushes simply come with headaches, heartache and heartbreak. Modern day Idolatry may seem insignificant, but God does not take Idol Worship lightly. In the words of Job,

“I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!” (Job 1:21 NLT) 

Girl Crush 

Have you ever heard of the term “Girl Crush?” According to the Urban Dictionary, girl crush is when a girl admires another girl in a non-sexual way. It simply means you admire the person you have a girl crush on, or you want to be best friends with your girl crush.

Woman Crush Wednesday is not limited to males, but a huge population of females participate in this trend. Posting pictures of celebrity crushes and/or best friend crushes. I personally do not comprehend such behavior of new age theology of “girl crushes” among the female species, but it’s certainly taken as casual humor. I have noticed the trend within the Christian world and in it, there is a sense of a hidden serpent within the concept.

Let’s go back to the beginning of civilization where God designed male and female. “So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27 NLT) 

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21 NLT)

Anytime you create a pattern that is opposite to the primary plan of God, you reverse the commandment of Male and Female. You may say, “it’s just a girl crush. It’s just admiration.” But Eve! It’s just Fruit. Who does that sound like?

The Serpent: “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden? You won’t die! God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” (Genesis 3:1-4 NLT) 

And we all know where that took us and where we stand today. The serpent used manipulation and reversed the plan of God. Satan continues this pattern throughout history and time. Hence the spirit of rebellion, lust and homosexuality (lesbianism) was conceived in the Garden of Eden. What seems insignificant is actually significant within Satan’s scheme. We must always stand guard by the power of the Holy Spirit, to not allow Satan’s reverse psychology to creep in.

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous.” (1 Corinthians 16:13 NLT) 

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 NLT) 

You may say, “It’s just admiration.” But I must ask, who are you inspiring to be? A celebrity with anti-god views and seducing spirits? Is it a non-Christian friend that does not pose Christian values? Or maybe your #WCW is one of your fellow sisters in the faith. But not everyone that sits modestly in a pew is an authentic Christian. I would be more concerned about the condition of their character before you start posting your girl-crush on social media.

“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.” (Matthew 7:15-16 NLT) 

This concept goes for both genders. Mean Girls and Mean Boys. Who do you admire and inspire to be?


Lust is the core of Woman Crush Wednesday. Any typical dude with sexual testosterone  will desire to post Kim Kardashian, or any other celebrity crushes on social media. Men are sexual creatures and that’s how God designed us. Let’s talk real talk! Every normal man has a sexual beast ready to be unleashed. I do not care how much you pray, fast and how many degrees you hold in seminary; you’re an animal! Sexuality and sexual attraction is not the problem, Lust is the issue. Think about it, when you post celebrity crushes, most pictures are non-modest and have a sexual appeal. Here is what the Bible says about Lust:

“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28 NLT) 

We will tackle Lust on another day, but for now I want to draw our focus on the emotional and psychological effect it has on men. In researching for this blog, I came across a few interesting studies that show the effect of visual stimuli: Men and Women Differ in Amygdala Response to Visual Sexual Stimuli and Men and Women Explore the Visual World Differently. 

Each study shows similarities and differences in brain activity within the male and female. It’s a given fact that men are visual and sexually driven by images. If you doubt that, look how successful the pornography industry is. When we post, view and react towards sexual images; the spirit of Lust that was conceived in the Garden of Eden creeps up like a slithering snake. It may look appealing to the eyes, but is it appealing to the Holy Spirit? Look where it got Adam:

And to the man He said, “Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:17-19 NLT) 

Notice: God confronted man first before in confronted the woman and the serpent. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9 NLT) Men, we are responsible for every action we take. That’s another blog in itself. Be responsible and wise up to the scheme of Satan. Lust got Adam into trouble and Lust will get you into trouble. Mainstream media and culture has depicted men to be sexual emotionless animals that are chauvinist jerks. Let’s prove society wrong by gracefully being gentlemen and harness the beast mode within us.

On a side note, guys who have significant others and feel the obligation to post a picture every Wednesday, great, that’s awesome! But be cautious of the images you do post; just know there are lustful dudes out there without the Holy Spirit.

I leave you with this to ponder on. Christian young men that post #WCW simply need a life. Get productive with your community, church and family. Stay busy and get a life. Literally.

Hidden Serpents



Before we unravel the Hidden Serpent, I want to make a disclaimer. I believe in a God that Loves the sinner, but hates the sin. It’s as simple as that. God loves you, but He loves you too much to leave you in a sinful nature. Many have eloquently written and conducted media that is trending on social media. But my objective is to take the blind fold off of Christianity and uncover the Hidden Serpent.

In recent news, it came to all of our attention that during the 2014 Grammy Awards, Seattle based artist Macklemore and Ryan Lewis performed their song “ Same Love “ featuring Mary Lambert and Madonna (you can view the performance on YouTube:http://youtu.be/CUM6JKkcYH4). I personally did not watch the Grammys nor do I promote such awards out of personal conviction. But after reading news articles, in the middle of the performance, Queen Latifah takes the stage to officiate thirty same-sex marriages on national television. The entire world viewed the performance, but did not see the Hidden Serpent. Katy Perry performed “Dark Horse”, (http://youtu.be/HWfD_TXs4fE) and let’s just say, the non-Christian world is calling her performance demonic. The opening act shows Katy Perry coming out of a fortune tellers crystal ball and calling out spirits into the atmosphere. Mind you, this is from a artist that grew up in the church (Pentecostal) and knows the spiritual realm. We will save our discussion of her performance for a later time. For now, I want to unravel the hidden serpent we all witnessed within “Same Love.“

I want to break down Macklemore’s song “Same Love“, into four factors of biblical and moral contradiction. You will discover the Hidden Serpent within the content and the very core of demonic activity within the spirit of the song.

 1. Thought

(Lyrics) When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay, ‘Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight. I told my mom, tears rushing down my face

She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k, trippin’ ” Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she? Bunch of stereotypes all in my head. I remember doing the math like, “Yeah, I’m good at little league” A preconceived idea of what it all meant. For those that liked the same sex. Had the characteristics. 

There appears to be some confusion within the first line. “ I thought “ refers to an individual in the process of thinking of themselves as something they are not. Homosexuality is pictured as a genetic imprisonment of the human body. You are born that way, it’s within the makeup of your genes, embrace it. But if an individual is simply born that way, why all the confusion? Some are in denial and find themselves in a battle up to middle age. I ask, if they knew they were born this way, why would it take them years to figure out their genetics. Better yet, if it’s linked to our human makeup, why did God not make all of us that way? SIMPLY: We were designed in the image of God.

Have you ever heard of that term: The apple does not fall to far from the tree. ” My uncle was “ implies a curse from generation to generation. According to biblical truth, we were all dead in sin but now raised by grace.

(Ephesians 2:1-10 NLT) 1 “Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Homosexuality is a choice of the human will, it’s not natural and/or an alternative lifestyle. Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k. “ It’s been a choice and even a “ preconceived “ idea. Think about it.

 2. Decision

(Lyrics) The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision. And you can be cured with some treatment and religion. Man-made rewiring of a predisposition. Playing God, aw nah here we go. America the brave still fears what we don’t know. And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten. But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago. I don’t know.

The very fact that God saved us by Grace, is the core truth of free will on our part (Ephesians 2:1-10). When God created mankind, He designed free-will within the very nature of humanity. The implication of being allowed to make a decision. We can decide what to wear, what to eat, what and who to love. Love was not genetically programed into our makeup, Love is a choice. We didn’t choose God, God chose us. In fact, we are able to Love because He first Loved us (1 John 4:19). When society claims that homosexuality is genetically built within the human condition, it’s not what God intended. Remember, He created man and woman, Adam and Eve. Homosexuality is a choice of the human will, it’s not “ Predisposition “, and/or an alternative lifestyle. The writer states,And you can be cured with some treatment and religion. “  Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re wrong. Any form of treatment cannot save you, even Religion cannot save you. The only one that can save you is Jesus’ Christ.

(Luke 19:10 NLT) “For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”

Macklemore, you’re lost and confused in this song. Jesus’ has come to rescue you. Yes, God loves all his children“, and He has not forgotten.“  

(John 3:16 NLT) 16 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.“

God loves you, but He hates your sin. How does God feel about same-sex marriage and homosexuality?

(Leviticus 18:22 NLT) 22 “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.“

Throughout the Old and New Testament, God calls homosexuality an abomination. The word abomination has a strong meaning. It literally means abhorrence and/or disgust to the point of illness in the stomach that will cause vomiting. Romans chapter one shows us the deep disguise God has towards humanity that chooses to live against what God created.

(Romans 1:24-27 NLT) 24 “So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.“

Many theologians believe this type of penalty could be the STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) and AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) It’s a curse towards humanity that become rebellious in their hearts. Furthermore, the bible clearly speaks of such individuals that practice homosexuality will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

(1 Corinthians 6:9,10 NLT) 9 “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.“

But there is a tremendous hope in verse eleven that is quickly overlooked:

(1 Corinthians 6:11 NLT) 11 “Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.“

Macklemore, you may say, “we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago.“ Not only are you contradicting yourself by using the bible and even scripture in your lyrics, but authentic Christians do not paraphrase the Bible, we speak the truth of the Bible.

 3. Stubbornness

(Lyrics) And I can’t change. Even if I tried. Even if I wanted to. My love, She keeps me warm.

Stubbornness and rebellion is like the practice of witchcraft.

(1 Samuel 15:23 NLT) 23 “ Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.”

If you think you can’t change, you will never change. Is the power of self-will God has purposely designed in you. And I can’t change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.“ This is a stubborn and rebellious state of mind.

4. The Hidden Serpent

(Lyrics) If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me. Have you read the YouTube comments lately? “Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily. We become so numb to what we’re saying. A culture founded from oppression.Yet we don’t have acceptance for ’em. Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board. A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it. Gay is synonymous with the lesser. It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion. Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment. The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins. It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference! Live on and be yourself.

When I was at church they taught me something else. If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed. That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned. When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless. Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen. I might not be the same, but that’s not important. No freedom till we’re equal, d*** right I support it. We press play, don’t press pause. Progress, march on with the veil over our eyes. We turn our back on the cause. Till the day that my uncles can be united by law. When kids are walking ’round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart. A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are. And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all. But it’s a d*** good place to start. No law is gonna change us. We have to change us. Whatever God you believe in. We come from the same one. Strip away the fear. Underneath it’s all the same love. About time that we raised up… sex. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is kind (not crying on Sundays). 

The song continues with a spirit of confusion “If I was gay.“  If is a possibility. You are or you’re not, it’s your decision. Live on and be yourself.“ This is one of the greatest deceptions given to mankind. Birthed in the Garden of Eden, the serpent himself conned humanity with this same exact concept.

(Genesis 3:1-5 NLT) 1 “The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” 2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” 4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

One of the most spoken scriptures in the bible is easily overlooked of the profound depth of understanding. The Hidden Serpent was conceived from the beginning of time. Questioning the very existence of God and Spiritual Authority. Our current generation has been poisoned by such satanic practices. Live and be yourself, but we do not belong to ourselves. According to 1 Corinthians 6:19, we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we do not belong to ourselves. We are bought at the high price of Jesus’ crucifixion.

When I was at church they taught me something else. If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed. That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned… Whatever God you believe in. We come from the same one.

You can read between the lines of the satanic belief that was birthed in the Garden. Satan proposed an alternative belief contrary to what God instructed mankind. “Do not eat“, and the serpent said “eat and you will become like God.“ You see, God does not hate the person but He hates the sin. Some Christian liberals will disagree and aggressively state their own opinion. But it’s very clear that the hidden serpent is contradicting himself by saying that God is hateful and that is not anointed. Furthermore, he is saying that the holy scriptures are poisoned. To believe whatever you want to believe and to not worry, we come from the same Father. Water plays a great significance within the word of God. The Word of God is like water that purifies the soul.

(Ephesians 5:25,26 NLT) 25 “He gave up his life for her (The Church) 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.“

Jesus’ is the Living Water and whoever will drink of His goodness, will never thirst again.

(John 4:13,14 NLT) 13 “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. 14 But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

(Revelation 22:17 NLT) 17 The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” Let anyone who hears this say, “Come.” Let anyone who is thirsty come. Let anyone who desires drink freely from the water of life.

Even before creation, water played a role of existence. (Genesis 1:2 NLT) 2 “The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.“

Let me pause here and ask, why would Macklemore make such a huge statement within the lyrics that may seem insignificant to the the human ear? “That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned.“ That holy water he speaks of is Jesus’ Christ. Don’t you realize what satan is attempting to do? Satan will use the very words of God and bring confusion and contradiction. He did it in the Garden (Genesis 3), he did it to Jesus’ in the Wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) and he will attempt to deceive you today.

Whatever God you believe in. We come from the same one. “ Here is the serpent again. Eat of the forbidden fruit and you will become your own God. Whatever and whoever you believe in, we all come from the same family tree. In essence, it’s all irrelevant and truth does not exist. Moral relativism is birthed and just to know it all began in the Garden of Eden.

“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is kind (not crying on Sundays).“  Macklemore continues to contradict himself by using a quotation of the Bible. It was not to far into the song that he uttered these words, “But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago.“ You are certainly paraphrasing a portion of what was written in the word of God (1 Corinthians 13:4). Satan will always attempt to reverse what God is saying. Yes, God loves you the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you remain in a lifestyle of sin and condemnation. 1 Corinthians 13:4 is taking out of context and focus of the scripture. God is Love, but he hates your sin. Satan and his followers want you to believe that it’s all good and to embrace it. It will get worse and it already has. Homosexuality is a “ normal ” lifestyle and the anti-god regime will brainwash you by using such pop-culture tactics.

As the hidden serpent continues to contradict himself, he will also play reverse-psychology. The first command God gives to humanity is to be fruitful and multiply. (Genesis 1:28) 28 “Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.“

If God commanded humanity to bear fruit and multiply, how can same-sex couples fulfill that commandment? Biologically it’s impossible. Sure, culture will think of a deceiving clever alternative in regards to same-sex couples, but that’s not what God intended. Satan will take the words of God and reverse the commandment. You can see a constant pattern within the Bible and up to this point.

I leave you with this final thought.

(Isaiah 5:20 NLT) 20 “What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark.“

A generation that considers evil as good and good as evil. A generation that is confused and contradicting their message. It’s time to confront evil with God; good does not do it anymore. In today’s culture, evil is considered good, but God has greater power to conquer the hidden serpent.

As a preacher of the gospel and Associate Pastor of one of the most unchurched cities in America (Grace City Church Seattle); I have seen various individuals set free from the bondage of the Hidden Serpent. I have prayed and counseled many that are confused with their gender and psychological being. God has shown me how this spirit works and operates to destroy the human soul. I’ve witnessed a young adult that was set free from this deception and now has a healthy godly relationship with the opposite sex. If you are reading this and are struggling within yourself, by the Grace of God, there is Power in the name of Jesus. By the authority of the word of God and the powerful name of Jesus, be set FREE!

“But I know this: I was blind, and now I can see!” (John 9:25 NLT)

Can you see The Hidden Serpent?

Forbidden Fantasy



Prince charming rescues the damsel in distress and they live happily ever after. Or if you’re into bloodthirsty vampires, it may go like this. Picture a grungy dark image of deep woods of evergreens, dark clouds and of course rain (sounds like my backyard). A bloodthirsty teenage boy that is considered a dead corpse seeks out a romantic fantasy with a teenage innocent girl. They become madly in love and desperate enough for each other to the point of depression and suicidal tendencies. The Twilight books set record as the biggest selling novels of 2008 on the USA Today Best-Selling Books list and have spent over 235 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List for Children’s Series Books. The Twilight Saga became a number one seller and epic Hollywood film.

     Hollywood, pop-culture, music and romantic novels have captivated our current generation with a dark fantasy. A fantasy that is merely a fantasy. From TV episodes, Vampire Dairies; to best selling books such as Fifty Shades of Grey. The story unfolds with a lustful love and dark fantasy. I find it interesting how romantic films and books start from the beginning stages of a fantasy relationship to a “Happily Ever After” conclusion. The Introduction and Conclusion conduct similar patterns in it’s narrative. There are really no distinct differences between both. Both start and end with happy romantic emotions, but never will you see the core of what holds things together. 

     Real authentic relationships are not simply built on the happy beginning and happily ever after, but relationships are truly built on the core substance of a strong foundation, full of protein. The reason why many Christian young adults struggle with relationships is because our culture has diluted the concept of relationships. I would hate to burst your Disney imagination, but someone has too. A fantasy is just a fantasy, meaning, IT’S NOT REAL. What films, books and even music portrays as “Love”, is not the same Love God intended for interpersonal relationships. This is what Pastor Rick Warren said about most love music. 

 “Lust is about satisfaction. Love is sacrificing, serving, surrendering, sharing, supporting and even suffering for others. Most love songs are actually lust songs.” ~ Rick Warren 

      My main objective of this blog is to throw major caution into the wind for all young adults seeking a serious relationship. Some people date just to date, while others seek relationships just for self-gratification. Those types of relationships become selfish and self-centered which is not the plan of God. A Christian based relationship is built upon biblical truths and moral stability. It’s truly about what goes on between the happy introduction of a relationship and a happily ever after. Don’t believe me? Listen to the words and stories of divorced couples and you will think twice. 

     It all started in the Garden of Eden in Genesis chapter three. Humanity indulged their eyes with a forbidden fantasy that led to destruction. The spirit of seduction entered into the picture and the snake himself deceived humanity. It’s imperative to comprehend Spirit Led Relationships. If I can help anybody understand the importance of being led by the Holy Spirit, you can be saved from a lifetime of headaches and heartache. Here are three simple objectives to be cautious about.

 1. The Man or Woman in the Mask

The first initial introduction of meeting an individual is like an untold story. You really do not know who this individual truly represents. Character traits and distinct personality has not been revealed quite yet. The first connection between two individuals of the opposite sex is physical attraction. For females, this may vary, but for males, this is the initial encounter. We should not judge a book by it’s cover, but we must keep in mind of discovering the content within the book immediately. There are consequences if we become passive prematurely within pursuing a relationship. I’m not applying that an individual must be perfect with no flaws. In fact, no one is perfect except the King himself. We tend to take first John chapter four verse eighteen out of context. We associate “perfect love”, with the idea or notion that if it’s meant to be, there will absolutely be no fear. To the contrary, it’s absolutely normal to have healthy fears. That’s the key word, “healthy.” We won’t dive into that for now, but let’s take a look at 1 John 4:18,19.

 ” Such Love has no Fear, because Perfect Love expels all Fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first. ” (1 John 4:18, 19 NLT)

     The bible clearly states that there is ” No Fear ” in Perfect Love. But what is this Perfect Love the bible speaks of? The only one that is considered ” Perfect ” is King Jesus. Only God can claim perfection. Often times, we enter into interpersonal relationships bearing this scripture out of context and when human love fails, we become easily heartbroken and disappointed. If we truly pay attention to the details of 1 John 4:18, 19, we will realize that the core of Love begins with the Love of Christ.

 ” We Love each other because He loved us first. ” (vs 19)

      In other words, Love begins with God. The core of Perfect Love can only be found in Christ, not in another human being. Often times we commit a spiritual Love Affair and Idol Worship against God without even knowing it. No other individual can take the place of God. Intimacy with the King will direct you into a healthy relationship.

     The subject of “Red Flags” is imperative to discovering the man or woman behind the mask. I don’t care how you slice it, red flags are red flags. No one can tell you what to do and how to go about it, but let this serve as a warning. There are some things in a person that only God can change. Character traits are learned very early in life and often times we become blind to character flaws. An individual can attempt to pursue and give all they have to rescue a stubborn heart with negative character traits, but if the heart is stubborn, only God can search the heart of man. 

 “ The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. “ (Jeremiah 17:9,10 NLT) 

“ Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. “ (Proverbs 12:15 NLT) 

      A stubborn person will not get anywhere in life. They find it difficult to receive wisdom, counsel and constructive criticism. It’s simple, their attitude stinks and their spirit is not teachable. I have discovered that some people will never change, NEVER. I’ve known some people for years and they still have a negative spirit and sour character traits. Here are a few examples of red flags that only God can change: 

Disrespect and lack of mutual respect as stated in Ephesians 5:33. Sarcasm eventually leads to emotional and psychological abuse. Anger, hatred, bitterness, jealousy, addictions, obsessions, abuse and such. 

     Observe the lifestyle of the man or woman behind the mask. Take mental and spiritual notes of who they really are. Observe how his or her parents treat each other, because that’s how they will treat you. Know who their friends are and who he or she associates themselves with. Friends do matter and it’s imperative to circle yourself with people that will challenge you to draw closer to God and obtain godly character traits. If his or her friends are gossipers, one day, you may become a rumor. 

“ Bad company corrupts good character. “ (1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT) 

 2. Jesus at the Center 

Jesus at the center of it all is the key to success in anything in life, but especially in relationships. This is such a simple and broad topic, but easily ignored by many couples. The phrase, ” Love is Blind “, is such a true statement. Handsome men are attracted to beautiful women and beautiful women are captured by handsome men. And they live happily ever after. And that’s where we get distracted and lost. What happened to the core of between the introduction and conclusion? We tend to skip the process of establishing a healthy relationship and become blind by the initial attraction. A beautiful face and a handsome stud will not build a solid foundation, but a godly character will set a strong concrete foundation within a relationship. If you keep Jesus at the center, He will hold everything together.

 “ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. “ (Colossians 1:17) 

     If we dare take Jesus’ out of the center, we fall into idolatry. Idol worship is conceived within the human heart according to Ezekiel 14:4, ” Tell them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: The people of Israel have set up idols in their hearts and fallen into sin. ” (Ezekiel 14:4 NLT) We become infatuated with imperfect human beings and worship “Love” instead of the ultimate Lover. God will not tolerate your idol worship of objects and human beings. For this is the first commandment God urges us to obey.

 “You must not have any other god but me. “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. ” (Exodus 20:3-5 NLT)

      There is an urgency that echoes from generation to generation. Idol worship is one of the greatest forbidden fruits the enemy will use against the church. It’s actually very simple to slip into idol worship, even without knowing it. God is jealous and will not tolerate your affection and love of other gods. No person and emotion should take the place of God. In fact, that individual should draw you closer to God and the divine purpose He has for your life. If an individual is not in love with the King, how can they love you as an imperfect human being? God promises an unfailing love that no other can truly give.

” But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands. ” (Exodus 20:6 NLT)                       

     When we idolize any type of interpersonal relationship, it draws us away from the godly principles of Healthy Love. “We love each other because he loved us first.” (1 John 4:19) If we abuse love with idolatry, it becomes an Anti-god relationship. When we idolize individuals, we create demigods that take the place of the One true God. Beware of Functional Saviors that begin to function as your personal savior. I invite you to destroy your idols, if you dare.

 3. Spirit Led

What does it mean to be ” Spirit Led? ” One of the misconceptions we have as Christians about the Holy Spirit is that it’s just about speaking with other tongues and the ability of connecting with God. But the Holy Spirit is much more than that. The Spirit of God is our spiritual conscience. It will lead us to the truth and give us wisdom for the future.

” When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. ” (John 16:13 NLT)

     When we receive the Holy Spirit, we obtain the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26). The Spirit of God will direct you to all paths of truth. It’s imperative to exercise our spiritual gifting and the fruits of the Spirit. The gift of discernment will make life a lot easier on the context of the heart and soul. Not all relationships are God-given. In fact, we can become so wrapped up with emotions, we become spiritually blinded. When we lose sight with our spiritual eyes, we can no longer see the path of being led by the Spirit. Some individuals look so appealing, they can deceive the human heart, but not the Holy Spirit. Matthew 7:15 speaks about vicious wolves who disguise themselves in elegant sheep apparel. You must ask yourself: Are you falling in love with a forbidden fantasy? Vicious patterns will only escalate to the point of emotional and psychological abuse. When we become obedient to the will of God, we find ourselves in a safe place of genuine love.

” For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. ” (Psalms 84:11 NLT)

     God will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. In other words, if it’s good for you, He will release it with favor. But if it’s bad for you, He will withhold it because He Love’s you with an unfailing Love. No matter how appealing an individual may seem, always be led by the Holy Spirit. You may find yourself strolling with the devil. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 speaks of ungodly partnerships and warning of unequally yoked relationships. 

 “ Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. “ (2 Corinthians 6:14-16 NLT)

     Most of us apply the content of this scripture to a relationship between a Christian believer and non-believer. The definition in the Greek for “Unbeliever” (ἄπιστος) means, as a negative particle. Actively disbelieving, without Christian faith (not being Christlike) untrustworthy person and faithless. There is something deeper to comprehend. Everyone who sits on a pew and profess Christ, does not mean they are “Christlike.” The bible speaks clearly of God’s original plan of a “Helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). I strongly urge you, especially those in ministry, it’s imperative to find a Helpmate and not a Destructive mate. If he/she is not emotionally connected with you and ministry minded; your calling and dreams may shatter forever. Partner up with Jesus and He will show you the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6).

I leave you with two key scriptures to ponder on.

” So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. ” (Galatians 5:16 NLT)

” Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. ” (Galatians 5:25 NLT)

…. May the Holy Spirit be with you.